National Math Day

First celebrated 9 May 2020

This week was best described as an optimistic start followed by a distinct lull and ending on a slight upturn.

Tam started the week with a fancy new calculator and math themed lock down goggles:

Nice equipment Tam

Jacob declared himself Minister of Education for this week, he pulled a sickie for most of it then limped back in on Friday to avoid the sack, clearly he is well on the way to a career in real politics.

On Monday he set us a data management task.  We all had to come up with a question and some possible answers and make a chart with the results.  Here are the very probing and interesting questions we all asked:

Tam:

Which would you rather have as a pet?

Tam's chart

Great charting don't you think? Id give her a job based on that alone.

Laurence:

Where do you most like to go swimming?

1. Indoor swimming pool
2. Outdoor swimming pool
3. Sea/ocean
4. Lake
5. River

Duncan:

How many farts do you do every day?

1. 0
2. 1-3
3. 4-6
4. More than 6

Charts pending on these 2 but we'll let them off.

Me:

What is your favourite breakfast?

My technologically advanced chart

Rose:

Would you rather:

1. Swim in barf
2. Eat only vegetables for a week
3. Be a rabbit for a day
4. Get eaten by Heff (our neighbour's cat)

Rose provided a beautiful pink bar graph that you can find here.

On Day 2 the minister didn't make it out of bed until very late and was mooping about saying he didn't know what to do so I was forced so step in with this:

Day 2 question sheet

I am happy to say that Tam came up with a plausible business plan based on current circumstances,  but I'm not sure how she will make any money exporting moss balls and mechanical fish worldwide for £3.95 shipping and handling.  Rose figured out that the Stallard household will eat the most veg in a week given their answers.  I'm disappointed not to know who's is the stinkiest house but I'm sure we all have our own views on that one, lol.

On Wednesday it was up to me again and we used our data set to make new numbers, theoretically exploring BODMAS but not really.

Thursday was a national math holiday.

Friday was fractions, Jacob asked us to express our data as fractions, percentages and decimals and we celebrated TGIFractions.  Quarter pounders for dinner and I opened a half bottle of wine.

So Saturday was actual National Math Day.  We didn't actually celebrate it very much but we ate Pi and I knocked up mini triple peanut butter chocolate cheesecakes for dessert.  They were eaten pretty fast and I forgot to photograph them but the recipe is here in case anyone is ever interested.

National Sports Day - Part 2

Thursday to Saturday

Thursday (nearly there, honest) YouTube workout day.  Tam sent us a video of her following on to a BBC archive Tony Brit video, read about him here (it's worth it for the 'teabag' crop top) so Rose and I followed on with Tam, all in our lock down goggles of course.  Jacob and I did Yoga for seniors with Adrienne, I enjoyed it, Jacob didn't.

Friday was retro sports day.  Tam did the egg and spoon race with a teaspoon (I think) and a left over tiny nougat Easter egg.  Rose hula hooped, note the lock down goggles, pictured here for the first time, but probably not the last:

We Parkers also did the egg and spoon race and I tried to teach the kids to do the three legged race.  I cannot post it here as the file exceeds the maximum size, it probably doesn't, it's so rubbish I expect that Google has censored it.  Apply in person and I'll send it to you, it's worth it!

So on Saturday we had our closing ceremonies, our National dish was proudly eaten and UPP cup cakes were given out.  There was a squabble around who should get first and second but in the end I gave first prize to Rose for fully participating in every day, Jacob was disqualified for doing the wrong sort of racket on Wednesday and he couldn't find the email where I allowed noise and fraudulent activity so he had no legal leg to stand on.  Here's Rose receiving her prize:

Prize winner

So that brings National Sports Day to a close.  Hang on tight for National Math Day next Saturday, this will be hosted by Jacob.

See you next week.

National Sports Day - Part 1

First celebrated 2 May 2020

Part One - Monday to Wednesday

Well, what a fabulous week of sporting events that was.  Following Rose's format last week we had a sporting event everyday, here's what we got up to:

Monday was walking day.  Not a very exciting start to the week but it's best to ease into these things.  The Millers walked up the fell road, the Stallards walked up the crag and Jacob and I went on an early morning bird watching marathon, the birds weren't out in force and a dead duck rather put a damper on things.  Rose walked on her hands and went out on her roller blades, is that walking on wheels?

Tuesday was racket sports day.  Rose and I played tetherball, keepy-uppy with a tennis racket and badminton.  Jacob made loud noises in the kitchen and claimed to be racketeering in the basement.  The Stallards played swingball:

Laurence's funky swingball moves

And Tam made the cutest racketball game in the world, I don't think it has a name yet but it should.

Wednesday was any sport beginning with 'S'.  The non-quarantined Miller contingent went shopping, I think this counts as an extreme sport these days, and synchronized swimming and the legendary 'lock down goggles' were born (see Friday for an example).  The Stallards weren't feeling quite the thing so they played electronic Star Wars.  Rose taught me how to 'Skip-it', if you're not sure what that is follow this link.  She also did the sack race in a pillow case:

Jacob played sping spong? don't know why he couldn't do that on the right day, it's almost a racket sport.

Check the next post for Thursday onwards.

TGIFiesta

First celebrated Friday 1 May, 2020

This was definitely a cheat night as tacos were already on the menu and they are always a bit of a celebration in this house anyway.  Tom requested tequila cocktails and a sombrero fashioned from tortilla chips, seriously? I'm not that desperate for something to do yet.  But we did kick it up a notch with some other fancy drinks:

Fancy drinks!

Sorry, Mexican theme

And dessert tacos, as requested by Rose.  I was a bit dubious about these; any time spent brushing tortillas with melted butter and meticulously (not), dusting them with cinnamon and baking them seems like a bit of a waste but you know what, they were delicious and I'd definitely do it again.

Full on dessert

Adult nouveau cuisine version

National Metal Day

National Metal Day

First celebrated 25 April 2020

This day was requested and organized by Rose and consisted of a week of fabulous activities for all.

Every day we were sent an automated message containing a link to a metal or similar genre song, we listened to it and sent in our votes to Rose.

Here is a list of the songs with links to YouTube so you can have a listen:

• Iron Maiden - Speed of Light
• Queens of the Stone Age - The Way You Used to Do
• Anthrax - Got the Time
• Fates Warning - Seven Stars
• Megadeth - Holy Wars... The Punishment Due

Tamsin and Sangchen joined in with this week from the UK (many thanks) and all was going well until Thursday night when Rose counted up the scores and realized that Queens of the Stone Age, who are not a metal band, were in the lead, hmm.  This caused some problems with the elements of our country to whom metal is serious business and a guest judge was called in at the last minute to rig the votes.  Thanks to Metin (AKA the Emissary of Satan) here are the final scores:

1. Megadeth - 7/10 average
2. Anthrax - 6.5/10 average
3. Iron Maiden and Queens of the Stone Age - 6/10 average
4. Fates Warning - 5.5 average

Note that average is the mean.  Mode and median were also discussed.

A further activity was to create a video of yourself playing air guitar to your favorite metal tune.  Not many people got around to this, I was too busy doing the catering, but here is Rose playing along to Slayer - Raining Blood:

I'd like to thank Sangchen for his excellent rendition of Europe - The Final Countdown.

And finally we had a celebratory meal of 'Pizza' (mind) for the Iron Maiden fans, bread 'drum' sticks with cheese fondue and a cake badly dressed up as a drum.

National Bird Watching Day

National Bird Watching Day

First Celebrated 18 April 2020

This first national day of our glorious country was a bit of a wash out.  The weather has been absolutely pants this April with really, I mean really cold temperatures and inappropriate precipitation.  This is the view from my bedroom window on 15 April:

April Showers?

We have recently seen quite a few birds on our feeder and Jacob in particular has been taking an interest.  Here's a list of what we might have seen on National Bird Watching day:

• Chickadee
• Dark eyed junco
• Chipping sparrow
• Goldfinch
• House sparrow
• White breasted nuthatch
• Downy woodpecker
• Hairy woodpecker
• Yellow bellied woodpecker
• Cardinal
• Robin
• Mourning dove
• American Crow

Here's what we actually saw all day:

• 2 Chickadees
• A few cold looking dark eyed juncos

A pathetic turnout, I think they maybe didn't get the message.  We might try again during Spring Watch.

We also celebrated with special food:

Spaghetti nests with meatball eggs.

Spaghetti nest

Bocconcini penguins.

Bocconcini penguins

Strawberry chicks in ice cream sundae nests.

Strawberry penguins

The UPP Quarantine Diaries - A Preamble

Good Day to you future citizens of Parkonia and visitors to our glorious land.

I hate writing introductory posts so I'll keep this short.  On the following pages you will find a brief history of how we spent our lock down months during the COVID19 outbreak of 2020.  I will start with a brief preamble of how we arrived at this point and introduce next 'week'.

In order to stop all the weeks of lock down from merging together and try to give our lives a little routine (and not least to stop me from accidentally opening a bottle of wine at 11 am on a Wednesday) 'we' (see definition of Parentocracy for 'we') decided on the need to celebrate something every week and the national day scheme was born.  In order for a 'National' day to be possible it was necessary to declare our independence and so from hence forth 78 Winding Way, Kitchener will be known as the United Parentocracy of Parkonia.  According to the 1993 convention on rights and duties we need 4 things:

• A permanent population - check
• A defined territory - check
• A government - check
• The capacity to enter into relations with other countries - working on that

We need to write to the UN and get them to recognize us - maybe we'll wait until this is over before we bother them.

We also have:

A system of governance:

We are a 'Parentocracy"

Definition: A form of Oligarchy where the state is ruled by 1 or 2 elite individuals with a senior(age) relationship to the proletariat.  Citizen's wishes are taken into consideration in the process of governance but not necessarily acted upon if they are not deemed to contribute to the common good or are just stupid.  Jacob has pointed out that it is ironic that the proletariat are the only people who don't work, might have to change the wording in the future.

A flag

Designed by Rose, overseen by Jacob.  Did you know that an expert in flags is called a vexillologist?  remember that for your next pub quiz.  Note that the colours, carefully selected by Jacob are:

• Amber
• Red
• Snavy blue
• Emerald

See what he did? (he's gifted you know) and also note that Rose got the order wrong!

UPP flag

A national anthem

The Wii me lounge music, listen here.  Protocol while listening; stand and bob about a bit, occasionally wave hands in the air and jump.

Independence Day

April 12 2020, to be celebrated each year on Easter Sunday with the consumption of Pizza and chocolate mousse.

We also have:

• A national dish - Pizza
• A national bird - Chickadee
• A national flower - cone flower of any colour
• A national slogan (not yet ratified) - Bottoms UPP

In the pages that follow we will record the national days, their dates and themes and a pictorial representation of how they were marked.

Enjoy

Footnote:

Actually, I won't introduce next week but this is an evolving situation as they keep telling us and as absolute ruler of this parentocracy I shall do as I please.